The State Police Association of Massachusetts
[Memorial to Fallen Officers]

We start this month with a heart-warming story from SP Lee. Sometimes it’s not all about big busts and fast chases (not that there’s anything wrong with that!). This item was filed under “Request for Service” in the log, and Tpr. Richard Zucco did just that. It seems a Connecticut resident called the Lee barracks one evening to bemoan the fact that he had lost his wallet somewhere around the tolls at Exit 1 on the Mass Pike. Or maybe it was Exit 2? Or it could have been when he stopped at a store on Route 8? While many people might have been tempted to dismiss the caller out of hand, Tpr. Zucco took the ball and ran with it. He figured he might know the store in question and attempted to call the owner at home, due to the late hour. Learning that the number was unlisted was only a minor deterrent. Tpr. Zucco tracked down a number for a neighbor and called there, relating the whole harrowing story. The message was relayed to the store owner who called back to report that the wallet in question was secured behind the counter, awaiting a joyous reunion with the rightful owner. Sometimes it’s all about the little things!

Moving on by the numbers, Tpr. Joseph Hall of SP Shelburne Falls attempted to stop an SUV for speeding when the driver decided he was not a fan of the police. Tpr. Hall chased the car south on Interstate 91 where they exited in Greenfield, apparently so that the driver could do a couple of laps of the rotary, before getting back on the highway and continuing south, where he thought he might have better luck in Deerfield. His plans went awry when he saw that more B-2 cruisers were there to greet him. A felony stop ensued and the driver found himself closer to the cops than he had hoped. A large amount of cash was found on his person, which a narcotics dog took a profound interest in. The drivers explanation that he had just gotten paid for a construction job and was on his way to get supplies, although he didn’t know the name of the customer or the supply store, was unraveled when a quantity of cocaine was found in the vehicle. Bob the Builder decided the smartest thing he could have done that day was consult with his lawyer. Maybe his lawyer should have advised him that using his brothers name during booking was about as bright an idea as running from the police in the first place.

Not to be outdone, Tpr. TJ Tudryn had a speeding motorist decide that running away from his troubles was a viable solution a few days later on I-91 in Bernardston. TJ lost sight of the car but was informed by a motorist that it had exited onto Route 10. Tpr. Bob Dziedzic was in the area and observed that the car had hit a snow bank but had been able to right itself and appeared to have continued south. Callers to the barracks reported that a party had gotten out of the car and headed toward the river. TJ went back to the spot and surmised that one occupant may have gotten out of the car and another drove it away. He found some tracks in the snow and followed them to a residence, where the owner stated that a half-soaked man had come up from the river and paid him $20 to drive him to a motel. Tpr. Tudryn went to the motel and was informed by the clerk that, indeed, a similarly half-soaked man had checked in about fifteen minutes ago, stating that he would only be there a few hours while he waited for a ride to Springfield. And none of this seemed in the least bit strange to anyone!! Tpr. Kyle Gleick (SP Shelburne) and Tpr. Gene Baker (K9 West) arrived at the motel and surrounded the room, whereupon the same half-soaked man admitted that he knew why they were banging on his door. After a warrant for escaping from jail was confirmed the guy admitted that he had been driving and that his girlfriend had left with the car when he fled on foot.

Tpr. Tudryn had himself another interesting stop a few weeks later on 91 northbound in Greenfield. He had stopped a vehicle for plate and lights violations and was concerned about some furtive movements on the part of the driver. His concerns were heightened when the driver stated that the car belonged to his brother, even though he had just handed over a registration with a females name on it. Tprs. Dan Jones and Mike Alker arrived from B-2 to assist and another attempt was made to get a straight story. The driver insisted that he driving his brothers car to “somewhere in Vermont” to meet his mother, but wasn’t sure where exactly. When Tpr. Tudryn asked the driver to step out of the car he was (hardly) surprised to see a big ol’ bag of weed in the door. The ownership of said weed was placed squarely on the same mysterious brother. Once Tpr. Gene Baker arrived with his canine partner, Bowie, more narcotics were located, including a stash of crack cocaine, as well as a backpack that reeked of marijuana and contained no less than $10,000 in small bills. In all, 11 grams of crack and 65 grams of marijuana off the streets.

Meanwhile, down at B-3, Tpr Matt Simpson was dispatched from SP Springfield one recent Mid shift to the area of Interstate 91 in Longmeadow with a report of a disabled motor vehicle in the right travel lane. Matt arrived on scene and observed that there was, in fact, a car in the right lane. The car was running, however, with the right blinker, um, blinking. Closer examination revealed the operator to be on the blink as well, slumped over the wheel. A couple of open beers in the center console led to a possible explanation of the circumstances. Matt banged on the window for about a minute, trying to get the driver to open the window, which he did, at about the same time that he reached over and put the car in park. All without opening his eyes! Matt had to practically climb into the car and put it back in Park. The overwhelming odor of booze, coupled with a distinct inability to maintain an upright posture, sealed the deal with regard to a charge for OUI, a second offence for this character.

Tprs. Gregorczyk and Burgess were teamed up one recent Eve shift for their stint with the CAT Team in Springfield when they spotted a car exit the highway and cut off another vehicle at the intersection. Observation of more questionable driving habits led to a motor vehicle stop, which led to observation of a vodka “on the rocks” in the center console. That’s right, a glass of vodka, complete with ice! This led to an admission of consuming the ubiquitous “two drinks”, which led to a request to step out of the car and consent to some Field Sobriety Tests (FST’s). This, understandably, led to the failure of said FST’s, which led to an arrest for OUI and a closer examination of the drivers’ record. This led to the discovery of a revoked license, a parole violation and eight prior OUI convictions. EIGHT! OCHO! HUIT! Brothers and Sisters, your job security is assured.

Tpr. Erin Fowler (SP Russell) was in the middle of an Eve Guest Patrol to SP Springfield when her cruiser was almost struck by a black SUV in the rotary at Route 57 in Agawam. The vehicle then sped off in a very erratic manner. Tpr. Fowlers attempts at a motor vehicle were spurned, resulting in a chase through the unfamiliar streets of Agawam. The driver decided to turn down a one-way street, apparently trapping himself, but it turned out he had just made it home. Erin drew down on the driver and went to pull him out of the car. Her first observation was that the driver was wearing a nice button-down shirt. This was particularly noticeable in contrast to the fact that he was not wearing any pants. His explanation was simple enough. He had removed his pants so that he could pleasure himself while he drove home. Erin’s second observation was a small collection of used crack pipes. He admittedly smoked “a lot of crack” that evening, which may have explained his erratic driving, or even his subsequent attempts to fight Troopers at the barracks, but I was completely unaware of the auto-erotic side affects associated with the use of crack cocaine.

Out at SP Cheshire, Tpr. John Stec was on a Mid shift patrol on Route 9 in Dalton when he spotted a speeding motorist compound her poor decision-making by swerving all over the road. Once he initiated a stop it was quickly determined that the female driver was “bombed”! In this case “FST” stood for “Failed Standing Test”! A small amount of marijuana was located in her pocket when she was taken into custody. She then asked to phone a friend for advice about taking the Breath Test, like she was a contestant on “Millionaire”, which was eventually taken with a score of .20. What sets this story apart however is the fact that, not one, but two male suitors practically had a fight in the lobby over who was going to be the one to bail this jewel out.

Tpr. Pete Barrett was dispatched from SP Russell to the scene of a house fire one cold evening in early February. Whilst directing traffic he was informed that a person in the crowd had been observed running from the building as the fire broke out. Pete had a chat with the lad and detected the strong odor of “an ignitable liquid”. The man was invited to have a seat in the back of Pete’s cruiser (after ensuring that all ignition sources were removed), where Tpr. Joseph Gura and Tpr. Mike Mazza of the Fire Marshals Office had further conversation. It appears that the young pyromaniac had set fire to the vacant house after he had broken in and spent the night.

Tpr. Jeff Roberts (SP Russell) got to deal with a nut from a different tree a few weeks later when he stopped for gas one evening in Westfield. He observed a car doing “donuts” (Mmmmm, donuts!) in the parking lot, sliding up on a snow bank and almost crashing into the gas pumps, other cars and, most importantly, Tpr. Roberts’ cruiser! Once Tpr. Roberts was able to approach the car it was quickly apparent that the demon alcohol had gotten inside this poor soul and was taking over his body. (Note: This is not a viable defense.) This was confirmed when the driver admitted to the recent consumption of “too much vodka”. Oh, that and the miserable failure at the FST’s. His surly attitude turned to downright nastiness when he was actually arrested, where a .13 on the BT machine set the final nail in the coffin. At this point the eighteen-year-old assistant carwash manager pulled an Emeril and kicked it up a notch. Once put in a cell he starting banging his head on the bars and making threats against Tpr. Roberts’ children. He then spit at the Troopers in the booking area before bringing it home by pulling down his pants and rubbing his genitals and buttocks on the bars in the cell. I hold this up as proof that Troopers, and police officers in general, earn every penny we make.

And we round out this tour of B Troop with a few tales from SP Northampton, starting with Tpr. Mike Tucker and a little cross-border cooperation with his friends in Vermont. Mike stopped a car for speeding on Interstate 91 northbound in Hatfield and, as one thing led to another, ended up arresting the driver for giving him a false name and having no license. It turned out that this guy also had a non-extraditable warrant out of Vermont. Well, since the guy was headed north anyways, Mike thought he’d be a nice guy and give Vermont SP a heads up when the driver had been released. Tpr. Bill Loiselle (who else?) was on the desk at B-6 by this time and knew just who to call. The boys up north lay in wait and our friend got himself arrested for the second time that day.

Tpr. Dan Pinkham (SP Northampton) stopped a car for an unsafe lane change on the interstate in Northampton and encountered an extremely nervous operator. After giving the Trooper his license registration and a business card he was asked why he was so nervous. The possession of a “dime bag” of marijuana in his pocket was the cause of his angst. Once he had turned same over to Dan he was asked to step out of the car. It was at this point that Einstein thought about making a run for it. After he had completely identified himself! Making as if he was going to get out of the car he threw it in gear and took off, only getting a few miles up the road before he had another change of heart and pulled over. Tpr. Matt Mielke (SP Springfield) and Tpr. Stucenski (K9 West) arrived to assist with bringing the indecisive desperado into custody.

Lt. Tom Daly and Tpr. Matt Boyer, both of the BHQ CAT Team, were traveling northbound on Interstate 91 in Holyoke late one afternoon when they each clocked a vehicle in excess of 90MPH. Once a stop had been made there was a certain amount of hesitation on the part of the female driver in explaining why she and her friend had driven hours from Vermont to pick up a guy at the airport in Hartford, whom they only knew by his first name. Let’s just say, there was a strong suspicion of drug trafficking. Tpr. Kudryk (SP Springfield) and Tpr. Stucenski (K9 West) arrived to assist and further inquiries were made. Tpr. Stucenski’s dog, “Lando”, was very interested in the vehicle, and not just because he’s a fan of import tuner cars. With the higher degree of probable cause provided by the canine, a full search of the vehicle ensued. And they didn’t stop until they got well into the alphabet. The bag of marijuana under the seat was a good start, as was the bottle of Hydrocodone pills in the trunk. The trunk also yielded 100 grams of cocaine and a smaller quantity of crack cocaine. The male passenger voiced his displeasure at the discoveries in a single word. And it wasn’t “Fudge”!

More fun with cocaine was had by Tpr. Mike Tucker (SP Northampton) and Tpr. Mike O’Neil, who was on a B-6 guest patrol from SP Cheshire, when they stopped a car in Holyoke and had to pull one of the passengers out immediately due to some very furtive movements. The guy tried throwing the Troopers off the trail with a false name but was undone via some quick work with a laptop, resulting in an arrest for an outstanding warrant. Tpr. O’Neil got to apply the cuffs and brought his catch to B-6 for booking. Now, he and Tpr. Tucker had suspected a definite narcotics connection between the three occupants of the car but were unable to find anything during the stop. It turns out that they weren’t off the mark because halfway through booking the guy turned a strange shade of green and began to do the funky chicken on the booking room floor. An ambulance was called and the man was rushed to the hospital, where he almost (but not quite) died from ingesting a quarter ounce of cocaine. Who knew that much coke could be bad for you?

Tpr. Nick Dumas was almost finished with a recent Day shift out of SP Northampton when he advised to BOLO for an erratic Saab coming out of the B-2 area. Nick set up in the median and soon caught sight of the vehicle as it headed into Holyoke, confirming that the cell-phone brigade had gotten this one right, and that the female operator was indeed, erratic. Little did he suspect just how “erratic” she would turn out to be! Once Nick had her stopped he observed a half bottle of Bud in the cup holder, and determined that drinking and driving usually leads to driving drunk. When he asked her to step out to perform some FST’s she literally fell into the travel lane. She then proceeded to soundly fail all the tests. This, despite her assertions that she had only consumed half a beer. The moment that she was placed under arrest for OUI (her second, by the way) was like throwing a light switch. She immediately changed from cooperative to screaming lunatic! She yelled at Nick, demanded her lawyer, called him a bitch, and was generally not nice. Tpr. Wood (SP Northampton) arrived in time to see the freak show and recovered a marijuana roach and a used syringe from the vehicle. The tirade against Tpr Dumas continued on the way back to the barracks, with every member of his family being threatened with all manner of gruesome deaths, all the way back to his grandmother! His grandmother, for crying out loud! She then threatened to accuse Nick of performing a certain sexual act on her that rhymes with an Irish airline. Once back at the barracks she started into a physical assault of Tpr. Dumas and Sgt. McNally, spitting and kicking at them, and had to be carried into the barracks for booking. Needless to say, the prospect of performing the booking procedures in a mature manner did not look good. So she was left to cool off in a cell for a while. Once a message was relayed to her mother that she would be slightly delayed in attending her grandmothers birthday party, the rest of the booking went all right. I have to say that Tpr. Dumas must be congratulated for maintained his poise and professionalism throughout the entire bizarre incident.

A BOLO on the Mid shift netted an OUI arrest for Tpr. Bob Wyckoff (SP Northampton), where a gentleman who had just returned from a trip to Jamaica had been over-served on the flight home. Once the FST’s were failed and it came time to put the cuffs on the man must have gotten the fright of his life, because he announced to Bob that he had just defecated in his pants. Brings new meaning to the term “Scared Straight”!

Not to be outdone by his classmate, Tpr. Ken Harold (SP Northampton) had an OUI arrestee re-enact his favorite scene from “Poltergeist” and projectile vomit all over the back seat area of his cruiser. Although, if you ask me, this seems like a strange subject for a competition between the two of them.

Tpr Wyckoff had a slightly neater interaction with an angry spouse a few weeks later when he was dispatched to a domestic disturbance in the town of Leverett. (It must be noted that the spouse was not initially angry at Bob). Once he got there he felt it necessary to secure the belligerent male half of the quarrel in the back of his cruiser until he could calm the situation down. While he was filling Tpr. Dave Paul (SP Northampton) in on the situation, he observed that the man had gotten his handcuffs around to the front and was kicking out the side window of the cruiser. The guy then launched himself out through the broken window and took off across the yard, but (conveniently) tripped and fell headfirst into a tree. While the Troopers were re-securing him he began to make threats of death against them and their families (what else!). He also disavowed any knowledge as to who was responsible for the damage to the cruiser. He then began to spit at the Troopers, which seems to be one of several rather tasteless themes this month. Tpr. Wyckoff overcame the situation by pulling the mans shirt over his head. Once back at the barracks the angry fellow continued his verbal assaults, again requiring judicious use of a cooling-off period before booking could commence.

Finally, a story of the “Fast and the Furious”. Or at least a fan of the movie. Tpr. Rachel Loiselle, the better half of the famous crime fighting duo, and not the one who likes to go poking around in peoples crotches (her words, not mine), was swinging the road at the end of her Day shift out of SP Northampton when she attempted to stop a Subura sports car for speeding on the interstate in Holyoke. The young driver thought that he would re-enact some of his favorite scenes from that movie, which at the time probably seemed like a good idea. So off he went, blowing by traffic in the breakdown lane at over 100MPH. Little did he know that Rachel is a racing movie aficionado in her own right and has the skills to back it up. She was able to keep her cruiser right there with the zippy little import as he led her on a quick tour of the areas around the exits in Holyoke. And I do mean quick. Once he had decided to get back on the highway and make a bee-line for home in Connecticut, he was faced with a veritable wall of French and Electric Blue cruisers at the West Springfield line, where Tpr. Dave Podworski (SP Springfield) just showing him the stop-sticks was enough to make the driver pack it in. He gave up without a fight. And his reason for endangering the community by fleeing from the police? A warrant? No license? Drugs? No. He just didn’t feel like getting a speeding ticket!

That’s it. Thanks to everyone for sending me the stories. Keep them coming. And remember, it’s better to be In The Book, than in the news.